crushed.

It hurts so much, but what can I do but just to wait for my turn at happiness.
Trying so hard to forge out a smile, but with every smile I throw out, a part of me wilt away into nothingness.

I just wanna start over, a new life, without this thought in mind. A clean fresh start is what I need to have some hope in life again.

Darkened **

Sometimes hope shouldn't be given if there even if there is. It's just like a dream, a illusion created to put our mind at peace.
Why lie to yourself? Reality isn't something to be taken lightly.

Hope would not heal any wounds, only open them up to to the harsh reality we have to face. How I wish I had a heart of steel and a mind of ignorance.

It's been awhile~

It's been awhile since I last heard your voice. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to leave, but how would I suppose to know you were somewhere in my future.
But since its now all in the past, all I can do now is think about you.
What is the point of having it all when I can't have it all. It just does not make sense.
I try to move on but you're always in the way.
Could you have been colder to me, it would have been easier for me to just forget.

And now you're not even talking to me, just leaving me hanging like a broken wind-chime that creates no music, just distorted sounds. Could you have hold me just one more time, I would have been satisfied, or maybe not for greed is one of human's prime sin. But I care not, for if I could only hold your hand while walking through a park again, while kissing in the dark field of nothingness again, I would be content to my fullest.

I just wish you feel the same way after all this time have gone by. I just wish you were here with me.......

Incoming!!~

So... the 2nd sems of my 1st year college has ended, and finals are two weeks later.. SHIT! LOL!~ as if I care, I kinda gave up on 2 of my courses since the last one is chinese and I rule at it.. :P Just kidds. haha Summer is so close yet so far.. D: oh wellz.... I kinda prefer spring than the suffering heat of summer sun (S.S) for short.. lmao The funny thing is that I only registered in 1 course just to get my U-pass, well, not really but its one of the big reasons why.. :O

Nothing new has happen since the last time I blogged, so theres really not much to say here... Just wanna keep my blogggie alife and not dead.. trying my best here.. LOL! for that reason, imma tell you guys a reason why i wanna get fat again.. rofl Kay, so.. when I was in primary school, i was fat as hell, then I went to secondary school -> got sick for 1 week -> lost my huge eating attitude = Super Skinny.. LOL! for the sum of those things, I wanna put on more weight. I feel as though if a strong wind came, it would sweep me of me foot and land somewhere as far as maybe back in asia? as that might be a good thing since I think I posted before that I wanna go back.. the safety issue of actually LANDING in asia alive is 0.0000000000001% chance.. LOL~

Another reason is that, I wanna fit into more cool clothes. hey hey, im a guy but I still need to look good right? This is kinda like natural selection for humans to choose a mate.. HAHAA!!

So my passport is expiring soon, and I kinda have a choice either to go back to SG to do it, OR go to SF to do it... since Canada doesnt have the place to do it.. haizz! wellz, I have always wanted to see the Golded Bridge altho it might not be golden for some reason?!

I really hope that Japan recovers fast from the tregedy that swip almost the whole country into chaos... Japan is still my #1 place to live in the future, but I wanna visit now altho that might ne a lil impossible.. : \

Wellz, that it for my everyday story since my last post... its normal, its unimportant, that this helps me to review what I have done.... learning from the past is always a BIG plus right? at least I hope so.. LOL And also, when my summer truly starts after my finals.. imma figure out how the hell do I put the chat box in my blog AGAIN.. =.= i kinda forgot after not using blog for quite some time... and the reason why it disappeared? i kind of change the blog skin, and it went *pooof* gone, evaporated, vanished,lasered out... some how~ LOL

This is another slice of my life, tune in for the next post.. which is unknown atm.. :D