crushed.

It hurts so much, but what can I do but just to wait for my turn at happiness.
Trying so hard to forge out a smile, but with every smile I throw out, a part of me wilt away into nothingness.

I just wanna start over, a new life, without this thought in mind. A clean fresh start is what I need to have some hope in life again.

Darkened **

Sometimes hope shouldn't be given if there even if there is. It's just like a dream, a illusion created to put our mind at peace.
Why lie to yourself? Reality isn't something to be taken lightly.

Hope would not heal any wounds, only open them up to to the harsh reality we have to face. How I wish I had a heart of steel and a mind of ignorance.

It's been awhile~

It's been awhile since I last heard your voice. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to leave, but how would I suppose to know you were somewhere in my future.
But since its now all in the past, all I can do now is think about you.
What is the point of having it all when I can't have it all. It just does not make sense.
I try to move on but you're always in the way.
Could you have been colder to me, it would have been easier for me to just forget.

And now you're not even talking to me, just leaving me hanging like a broken wind-chime that creates no music, just distorted sounds. Could you have hold me just one more time, I would have been satisfied, or maybe not for greed is one of human's prime sin. But I care not, for if I could only hold your hand while walking through a park again, while kissing in the dark field of nothingness again, I would be content to my fullest.

I just wish you feel the same way after all this time have gone by. I just wish you were here with me.......

Incoming!!~

So... the 2nd sems of my 1st year college has ended, and finals are two weeks later.. SHIT! LOL!~ as if I care, I kinda gave up on 2 of my courses since the last one is chinese and I rule at it.. :P Just kidds. haha Summer is so close yet so far.. D: oh wellz.... I kinda prefer spring than the suffering heat of summer sun (S.S) for short.. lmao The funny thing is that I only registered in 1 course just to get my U-pass, well, not really but its one of the big reasons why.. :O

Nothing new has happen since the last time I blogged, so theres really not much to say here... Just wanna keep my blogggie alife and not dead.. trying my best here.. LOL! for that reason, imma tell you guys a reason why i wanna get fat again.. rofl Kay, so.. when I was in primary school, i was fat as hell, then I went to secondary school -> got sick for 1 week -> lost my huge eating attitude = Super Skinny.. LOL! for the sum of those things, I wanna put on more weight. I feel as though if a strong wind came, it would sweep me of me foot and land somewhere as far as maybe back in asia? as that might be a good thing since I think I posted before that I wanna go back.. the safety issue of actually LANDING in asia alive is 0.0000000000001% chance.. LOL~

Another reason is that, I wanna fit into more cool clothes. hey hey, im a guy but I still need to look good right? This is kinda like natural selection for humans to choose a mate.. HAHAA!!

So my passport is expiring soon, and I kinda have a choice either to go back to SG to do it, OR go to SF to do it... since Canada doesnt have the place to do it.. haizz! wellz, I have always wanted to see the Golded Bridge altho it might not be golden for some reason?!

I really hope that Japan recovers fast from the tregedy that swip almost the whole country into chaos... Japan is still my #1 place to live in the future, but I wanna visit now altho that might ne a lil impossible.. : \

Wellz, that it for my everyday story since my last post... its normal, its unimportant, that this helps me to review what I have done.... learning from the past is always a BIG plus right? at least I hope so.. LOL And also, when my summer truly starts after my finals.. imma figure out how the hell do I put the chat box in my blog AGAIN.. =.= i kinda forgot after not using blog for quite some time... and the reason why it disappeared? i kind of change the blog skin, and it went *pooof* gone, evaporated, vanished,lasered out... some how~ LOL

This is another slice of my life, tune in for the next post.. which is unknown atm.. :D

Many ~ Stuffs

Its been a freakin long time since I last blogged.. haha!~

well now Im outta high school & into college, hopefully I'll go into Uni in the later future.
Changing my Arts courses into Science isn't easy, as I did that last min after I had chosen my Arts courses.. LOL!

Theres been a whole lotta going on in my life and the world too of coz ( the universe doesn't revolve around me ) but I hope it will someday.. haha~
many disappointments and let downs. but still hanging in there as life have to go on despite all that crap..

Sold my house back home, seperated from my two cute dogs..
told some1 how I felt, didnt get reject or accepted (I guess rejected?) anyways, it's my typical life without any real happiness.. oh wellz, I guesss have to wait till it's my turn right?

after I came back to canada, I lost several people who I thought were my true friends back home, and that really hurt me a whole lot *ouch*, yea, when you find out something you shouldn't know, even if you are a guy, it hurts too.... but thats life too, being hurt and learning from it.

Being guilty isn't one of my aspects of being me people who knows me knows that.. but theres a few special cases, like when my mum wants to buy me something expensive and I know that we are not rich, hence I get guilty.. or like my maid who doesn't mean much to other people but who means the world to me buy me something small like a simple ring, and I know she has childrens too, this too makes me feel insig... but the most guilty I ever felt is when I promise my dogs I would be with them forever, but seperated in the end.. that really squeezed the blood from my heart..
Yea, well.. Im a sensetive guy who doesn't treasure what he have till the last moment, until it's too late to do anything...

Learning from all my mistakes from above, I learn not to expect too much from anybody and make promises I know I can't hold it forever.. this are the two main subjects in my life that im trying to get an A+ in it.. LOL

I'll try to update more when my summer break comes or when I remember something that I didn't post, and please excuse my horrible english LOL! I know it's still very bad but Im working on it!

Last but not least, lets pray for the people in Japan that they might have better days ahead..! :)

Procrastination!~

It been quite a long time since I have blogged but hey.. its just for fun right?
Not that I would be marked on.. XD

I have entered college and the enviroment is so diff from high school especially from my home country..
But nothing about me have changed, I am still the same old depressed guy from 3 years ago..
Trying to see life on a diff espect but so far so luck...

I have permenently moved to Canada and yes I ahve sold my house back in my home country, its quite sad to say good bye to a house filled with memories altho some might not be happy but a house that sheltered me for almost my whole life, and its where I could ever feel comfort in...

Many things and stuffs happened, but what I really wish and pray for is a simple life living with the person I love the most, of course I love my family too but we all would want someone to call our own right?
My prayers have always been answered, but those prayers I prayed is the prayers that I would not find happiness in it, as it has been always for some else and not mine...

Seeing the person you love with another and watching them right infront of you and hiding your feelings is not fun at all.. But if it makes the person I love be happy, I would just step aside altho my heart aches and I would cry every night.. Thats life..~

寂しい事も、悲しい事も僕は君のために全てを取ります。。だから君は僕のために幸せになって下さい。！
I should really practise my Japanese more often, it has become rusty.. haizz!

Well, its late, and I have 2 midterms to study for next week tml..
=3

ProJecT~~

Hey Hey... Long time No Post.. =D

I guess i should start blogging again yea??

The 1st post will be my Japanese project....

Hope Mr Mancell gives me a high mark.. =D

I will be typing these few posts in Japanese.. So if you are Japanese and happen to click by... please correct me yea?? =D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

友達。。

僕は友達がだい好きです。毎日、いじょに歩きながら、、学校へ行きます。何でも話ことができます。花屋へ行きました。あそこでチュリップよりバラのほうがきれいだと思います。友達は飲むすぎると言った、だからトイレに行くと言いました。買ってはいけない、お母さんと言われましたが、でも　僕はバラが好きですから、買いました。そして、友達からいっぱいおくりものにもらった。

ーーーーーーーーー

学校。。

カナダの学校はとてもいいと思います。こうそくはとてもすばらしいと思います。レースンの中でいろいろな事ができます。たとえばMP3を使えます。そして、クラスの中で食べられます。先生たちはいっぱいおしえ事がくれました。

ーーーーーーーーーーーー

場所。。

いっぱい場所に行きたいんですが、お金がない。日本はいちばんな場所にいきたいんです。でもお金がありませんが、日本にいけません。でも、僕はさくせんがあります。お母さんをたのむ、そしてお金は僕があげる。

ーーーーーーー

アニメ。。

アニメを見ながらスネックスを食べることができます。いっぱいアニメコンピューターでみえます。そして、たべすぎるのときにアニメみることができます。アニメをみたら、じゅくだいをそるのときがたりえないです。勉強をしなかったらこまったわね。いっぱいアニメみてみました、そして、全部あたらしいアニメアニメをみた。まんがよりアニメのほうがいいと思います。

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

沖縄。。

ぼくは日本にきょうみがあります、おもしろい場所と思います。日本ぶんかはいろいろなことしてはいけないですが。おいしいすしをたべられます。そして、きれいなばしょをみえます。もしぼくはいったら、沖縄にいきたいんです。アニメとまんがでみましたから、沖縄はほんとにきれいなばしょだな。

ーーーーーーーー

So yeahh~~ thats the end of my Japanese project... and i know its bad...

But, XDD~~ please correct me other then Mr Mancell if there are any mistakes,, haha

NotHinG tO Do...

OK la....

Since i hav nothing to do... then blog lor... LOL

My frens also asking me to update so now i am doing it....

lets see where to start... hhmmmmm

kk after exam very relax liao... LOL   

Not exactly true though, i was on relax mode the day be4 my S.S prov.

LOL failed it ... 

The 1st essay i wrote something totally unrelated to the topic... LOL

I cant believe it man... i wrote sth unrelated to the topic.. my whole life this is the 1st time... XD

nvm about that.. lets forget about it =D

Came back to singapore liao as most of u would know it.... the moment i came back i had a feeling to eat damee.. n drink china apple juice... LOL

be4 that my frens in canada who r singaporeans ( all girls ) XD wrote sth funny in my yearbook.. surprisingly it was almost the same...

They said i was a lucky BUM to go back... LOL

The credit of this goes to Victoria Chin and Sabrina Aw.... hahaaahaaaa 

Thx u guys.. i am eating singapore food everyday n enjoying it too.... XD

They are probably going to kill me when i go back but its funny right??

So i came back on monday and for the next 2weeks i went out on-stop.....

Man i was soooooo tired.... i even watched transformers two times in 1 day... LOL

Sory guys.. i forgot what i wanted to write after i was in total relax mode...

that means no blogging to... n 2day i was sooo super bored that i decided to blog some...

Hopin my blog does not die and i hav to start a new 1.... its more work... 

So i better not slack off... XD

Next year is my last year of high school.. n after that i wil be going to university... 

But stil hav not decided which U to go to... i wan to study in asia but people around me says that its too hard.... ermm when i say asia... i do not include singapore.. LOL

Either Japan, Korea or Taiwan... yup is also does not include china....

I sound very bias right... XD

But the world is always bias even if we r not... =D

My friends are in schl and i am stuck at home with my 2 CUTE/かわいい/可爱 dogs....hahaaa

sory dont know much korean... >_<>_<

0k0k.. i gtg now.. if i remember the things i wanna write be4 i will blog again...

じゃまたね　＝） 

ENDED.......FINALLY!!!!!!!!

Exams n everything about school has ended....

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. can relaxxx finally....   LOL

To all my frens who r taking summer schl, i am very sory u all hav to stress non-stop,,,,

XD

But work hard k???         =D

sory i hav not blog for a long long time....

my house internet is gone... my neighbor cut the connection.... so now no internet...

my mum go n sign up the wrong kind of internet n got a stupid small laptop...

so now i in kang hao's house blogging .... LOL

sory guys, i am too lazy to put up all the pics... u hav to wait....>_<

last fri was my S.S provincial exam.... LOL....

tatally BOMBED it... nv study the day be4 n was only watching drama... .LOL

haizzzzz.....

Now i am back in singapore relaxing my ass out..... LOL

its a short post but it is jus to tell u ppl tat i have not given up on blogging... =D

jamata... 

Ending.....

Hey guys...
sorry that i won't be blogging for the next 2 weeks.. maybe i will if i have time...

jus to complain about my teachers n some other stuffs... =D

exams ar coming..... LOL....
sounds like the sharks are coming.. SWIM FASTER!!!.. LOL
hahhahaaaahaaa dis few day are the most stressful days of my life.... as u can guess it, my brain shutted down as soon as i open my physics review ..... D= NOT GOOD.... it i really NOT GOOD...
since my exams r coming.....

us had my phy test on tues... n guess what..
another test on dis teus.... waaaaa can die sia... if not die den brain become vegetable.....
den i on the bed ... or maybe become mentally disabled.. LOL den i will be laughing all the time...
For those of u who knw me.. laughing is a part of me... so becoming mentally disabled will not really change anything .... accept for the ridiculas n stupid smile.. LOL

hAizzz... when is my stress gonna stop.???

kk .. sory guys no pics dis week or next .... 2 more weeks of schll.....

Not gonna blog n clean my room... LOL

Concentrating on relaxing my brain... so i can think during tests n exams....

2day i went out wif my frens again.. to Rocky Point.... my fren Joana brought her dog Kika...
she was so cute... but mine are cuter =3 being a bit bias but its true >_<
Heidi dared me to do something that if u hear it... u would think that i am *** ...LOL
I will post all the pics from my S.S field trip n my outing.... soon i hope...
Porovided i dont check into the mental hospital...hahahahahahahahahahaaaa

I dont think they would allow me to use a comp...

Hay 2 test n 1 project next week.... OMG... God pls pray for me....>_<

I wanna live not becoming a vegetable, mentally disabled or even DIE.... 3:>

0k guys gotta go take my dinner... gonna 1am now... LOL
Jamata... (=^.^=)

FUN >>> FUN >>> FUN!!!!

Well.... ermmmm

Lets start wif boring stuffs....

Tues was my physics test that i wanted to kill myself badly.... =\

n the rest of the week was history ..... ohh ya..!!!!

no more physics book report.... =DDDD

Now i am jus waiting for schl to end...... =.=!!! boring as helll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So 2day i went out wif Heidi n Karen.... to the mall duhh!!! LOL

Went to buy my new digi cam.. =))))))) so happy.... But the reason y i bought it this early is because of the S.S field trip we r having dis thurs..... The whole day which means no lesson n jus hanging out with frens in diff. places... FUN =D

AND DEN..... Heidi starts taking photos.... O_O....

If u r my fren on facebook... u can see all the pics she took of me... =\

44 PHOTOS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... WOW... for me who does not like the camera .. 44 pics r damn hell alot for me... LOL

Below the pics r all mixed up so... i will jus give a pic 1 title so u guys can see... (^.^)...

START!!!

My new digi-cam Sony W300.... =D

WOW.... ermmmm =X

Part 2... rermmmmm

this actually come after the pic below ..... so in the end the koala succeed in climbing the tree...=D

But in this part... she failed... D= ( Karen ).. LOL =X

Heidi dancing after drinking Bubble Tea ... we were in front of the schll... LOL

Karen Of Liberty!!! ahahahhahaahhaaaaaahaaaaaa

Dis was 1 of the nice pic of me... look so handsome... LOL ( NOT )

Green Apple Ice Blended.... I wanted Honey Milk Tea BUT they ran out of Tea.. =.=!!!

Acting Cooll..... muaahahahaaaaa

The sun was so nice that i wanted to take a nap but they didn't let me... D=>

Dis is a nice pic.... there is 1 more that would make every1 misunderstand even more... >_<

Well there u go ... My day in a few pics... =D.... Hope u guys enjoyed it... n not laughing too much.. =.=..... haaaaahaa ? NO? Maybe be .. LOL

Now i am very tired... need to get rdy before slping.... 

Step 1) Bathe

2) Eat Dinner.. Yes dinner... NOTE it is almost 12 midnight... LOL

3)Exercise 

4) Finally get to the bed n proceed to LalaLand.... =3

OK guys .. i hav to end here or else my finger would be in great pain 2morrow.. =D

Oyasumi... ja-ne

**FLY^-^

Haizzzz...

The week wasn't so bad i guess since i got a 4 days weekend.....

Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon..... But still quite tired.... Not enough energy hav been replenished ...

ohhh well .. dis is life.. time waits for no1... 

Finally finish my phy book report ( EVERYTHING ) ....

Phew. it was quite troublesome to read n write the same time.....

N i can tell u dis... i dont get 88% of what the book is trying to say.... LOL

So tired now.. I wish i could jus jump on the bed n snore all the way to 2morrow... LOL

I hav finish all my HW anyways rite.... But everyday i follow my plans... 

Is the same for everyday except for weekends for i can slp...

Mon-Sun: Wake up at 645am n talk to my doggies =3

Mon-Fri: Go wash up at 800am and eat breakfast/go schl...

Nite: Mon-Fri: Afternoon nap, do hw, watch anime, blah blah blah....

For Sun i have to do my blog n clean my room...

My time n singapore time is diff so yeah.........   basically i hav no free day....

There is always something to do... Which make me bored n tired....

After my U i plan to take 2 years off.. If i have a house in Japan in the country side den i would do gardening n enjoy myself..... If not maybe i would travel around Japan n Korea for fun...=D

OHHH YAAA.... I am not taking phy n math next yr anymore.... YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sory ... i love to repeat stuffs when i am happy about it... =D... I am kinda like a long winded person..... 

No pics again.... everytime when i think of something tat i wanna take.. I ended up forgetting which thing tat i wanna take for forget to put in the blog... D=.... My brain is collapsing, getting old ... LOL 

Phy test 2morrow ... OMG hope i dont forget everything i learnt again... 

I hate it when ppl look down on me... to those ppl who do... Who cares if u hav brains... if u hav attitude u will hav no frens in life.... Now companies dont hire ppl wif high marks but those wif high lvl of sociability..... UNDERSTAND????

geezzzz ... really dislike ppl of tat sort.. always comparing marks n stuffs wif lower grade ppl jus to make themselves feel good..... I will say one thing.... They will FAIL in life... LOL

Its true...

Haizz there i go complaining again..... I think i also got attitude problems... =\

But at least i can understand how others would feel..... haahaaa I got praise by my hyung becoz of tat... =D ohh ya.. hyung=senior in korean incase some may not knw....  

Count Down: 32 More Days

OK guys... 

Wanna try to slp early 2day...... Jamata..=D

(.......AgAin.....)

OMG......

aLmost forgot to update.....  hahaaaaa

I was taking a quiz on facebook abt singapore... LOL

It was so funny .. kept laughing... i got 100% on every quiz.... YAY!!!

Anyways.... my mum went back to SG 2day..... hAiiZZZZzzz

Stuck wif my dad again..... 4 weeks pass so fast.... 

6 more weeksss...... tarhen....

Now soo dam tired.. every morning need drink coffee den can wake up....

i become old man liao.... plus the shaving also.. =.=

After next week another phy book report due...... ARRHHHHH

I am totally taking the wrong subs......

I wanna study End Lit and Botany.... Both which does not need MATH....

I am wasting my time ... ohhh man

Blah blah blah.... i am always complaining,...... LOL

So far my love life is a crap...... i am starting to think tat i hav no luck wif girls......

Jeresa asked me to become a gay jus becoz she wants a gay fren.... n i was like ....

WTF.... NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Hell NO!!!

Well.... anyways.. i am getting tired now... jus finish talking to my best fren's gf..... LOL

My mum ask me whether my fren s jealous or not... actually... i am not quite sure abt tat....

Ryuu if u r jealous tell me XD............................. So late now..

GTG guys... enjoy ur life... (= is very short =) 

Sory no pics.... Maybe next time =)

FAST=====3

Ok ...

almost forgot to blog.... LOL

getting old liao pls forgive me =3

This is gonna be a very fast post...... hav to wake up at 630am..... LOL

Will be a zombie in schl 2morow.... Hhahahaa

So first thing...

There will be a special post only on my DOGS.... 

Y u ask?????????

Very simple actually .... ( becoz i love them alot ) LOL =D

So that u can also see how cute they r >_<...

 

Secondly there will be another special post on my taiwan trip....

who knows how long ago..... LOL

U might be asking y dis person is putting all thses special post????

Well.... This blog is called unforgettable memorys for nothing u know ..   =.=

hAHaha... OMG 

Gonna be so dam tired 2morrow if i dont sleep now...  Well guys 

thx for viewing this blog... =3

Pls cont to support it ....... 

BYE <=D

Nice!!!

Waa sia..... this weeknd got no hw so happy.....

dis week not so bad as the others.... but i had 2 presentations...

1 was the marketing which i had to do research on the product i hav ... it was Anime Store...

and surprising enough most of them dont even knw it....

I had to give out at least 50 survey.. and the teacher printed 60 jus incase.....

And now i hav a stack of 60 surveys in room..... WTF...

The other presentation was english.... we had to write a speech X(......

OMG... My topic was Friends..... hahahAh not anything new.... 

When it was my turn i was like......

'ermmmm' ( scratch head ) 'ermmmm'

LOL   every1 was like tat so it was 0k.... =D

So since i had no hw ..... we went to the U.S to dirve around.... 

See plants n stuffs... i bought 2 plants which was so nice >.<....

There was a lot of tulip .. i was amaze... O-O   

TAKE A LOOK>>>

It was so unique ......

So Nice >.<

OMG ..................

This is the ugly duckling that becomes a swan....

很漂亮。。。。。

This is a cat not a flower F.Y.I LOL

This plant was so nice.... too bad i couldn't buy it ..D=

This was the plant i bought... ( bleeding heart )........shape of a heart....

This plant is a drug... i forgot the name >.<

It looks so fake....  (\    /)

                                   (='.^=)

Very Tired.... =.=ZZzz

OK let me start out by saying that the blog has problems.....

My latest photos starts from the bottom of the page....... hAizZzzz

Nth new this week, worrying for my physics unit test next week!!!!... ARGHHH

So not prepared for it.... lucky my fren agreed to teach me.. =D

I am not that smart k.... some of u know tat but some dont....

I am jus counting down the days till i go back singapore..... 62 more days left =))))))

Friday i went to the aquarium with my parents ...... saw alot of fishies..... hahaaaaaaa

I saw some tropical fishes there also.....  quite cool

but when we arrived there .. there was only like 1hr left =.= talk about time limit..LOL

Saw a lot of cute animals like precious >.< LOL my dog... a seal obviously.... becoz of her BIG eyes =D

My doogies looks like cute seals hahahaaa...

K enjoy the pics if not ...... $%@#...LOL 

the shower was leaking like siao....... can fill the bathtub up in like 6hours..... waste money. =.=

Last sun was easter n my mum bought a choco bunny for me =D

Sooooo Cooollll!!!!!!!

This is my most fav fish in the whole world........ carnivore...  I wan it >.< 

the ottar was like itching all around his body..... hahahaha so funny...

PRECIOUS WAD ARE YOU DOING SWIMMING IN THE WATER????   LOL

Baby whale..

Mother whale... =D

Soo weird ... it was standing up in the water..... =.=

Dolphins .... they are so cute >.<   

This is the fish that carries my fav eggs in the whole world..... YUP u guessed it.....

(=caviar=) 

Flat fish... LOL ... ( F.F ) haahhahaahha

Lots of starfishy ...... LOL.... i want to buy it o badly D=

It was the 1st coolest fish i saw when i came in the aquarium......  OMG it was so nice in real life..

Corals...... SOSO.. hahaha i am very bias .. C=

LOL me..... am i part of the aquarium ???? hmmmmmmm

maybe bah.... who knows.. LOL     

dewa minasan....

jamata...   TC=