crushed.

It hurts so much, but what can I do but just to wait for my turn at happiness.
Trying so hard to forge out a smile, but with every smile I throw out, a part of me wilt away into nothingness.

I just wanna start over, a new life, without this thought in mind. A clean fresh start is what I need to have some hope in life again.

Darkened **

Sometimes hope shouldn't be given if there even if there is. It's just like a dream, a illusion created to put our mind at peace.
Why lie to yourself? Reality isn't something to be taken lightly.

Hope would not heal any wounds, only open them up to to the harsh reality we have to face. How I wish I had a heart of steel and a mind of ignorance.

It's been awhile~

It's been awhile since I last heard your voice. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to leave, but how would I suppose to know you were somewhere in my future.
But since its now all in the past, all I can do now is think about you.
What is the point of having it all when I can't have it all. It just does not make sense.
I try to move on but you're always in the way.
Could you have been colder to me, it would have been easier for me to just forget.

And now you're not even talking to me, just leaving me hanging like a broken wind-chime that creates no music, just distorted sounds. Could you have hold me just one more time, I would have been satisfied, or maybe not for greed is one of human's prime sin. But I care not, for if I could only hold your hand while walking through a park again, while kissing in the dark field of nothingness again, I would be content to my fullest.

I just wish you feel the same way after all this time have gone by. I just wish you were here with me.......