I HAVE A PURE HATRED FOR MY FATHER AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE....
I really feel like ..
a) running away
b) die of heart att
c) commit suicide
I really can't take life anymore... its too hard for me...
test everyweek...
father nagging at home....
I really don't where i should go....
Maybe Heaven is better..... or Hell...
Either 1 will be fine... nothing should be worse then staying with hm....
Canada is not big enough for both of us.....
My stress is already so much and he keeps on adding to it..
Like adding oil the a big flame....
Soon enough i will burn out.. and thats my limit for life.....
I really can't handle it by myself....
realy can't....
Try my best in school to smile and laugh...
but if this carries on .. i can't do that anymore.....
So many thoughts about what i want to do NOW running through my head....
2 options for me if it carries on..
1)die
2)become crazy...
But the thoughts for my dogs and the people i love are holding me back to do anything...
For those friends who knows me for many years... when i go to school with you guys and i might seem a little down... it means to night before i was thinking of the above thoughts....
I won't show much emotions but inside i am really thinking of it....
I know its only sat but it just happen...
The sound of his voice is like a spike through my body... over the years more and more spikes appear and my body feels heavier and 1 day it will stop moving........
The wish of a blue sky and a wide green field with birds singing and wind blows suddenly disappears into nothingness.....
I know i am known as a kind and happy person to my friends.....
But it can't last forever......
